How to love yourself completely

Whilst studying to become a yoga instructor at Ayur Yoga Eco Ashram in India, I learnt from one of our lecturers one of the most life-changing ideas I have ever encountered. It's an idea that initially unsettled me. However, it eventually altered my perception of 'myself' and the world around me forever.

Before I explain this idea to you, I would like you to consider something:

When you think of yourself, what comes to your mind?

Your name? Your nationality? Your job? What you look like? The concepts or ethics you associate yourself with?

In other words, what comes to your mind will in some way be related to your body or your mind.

You may think, "Who am I if I am not this mind, this body, these thoughts and feelings?"

That's 'you', isn't it? That's who you are. Or is it?

We all self-identify with the thoughts which flow through our minds. I mean, why wouldn't we? They're internal. They are within us. They must surely be a much more trust-worthy representation of our true selves than our external bodies could ever be. Right?

Let's consider something for a second. Where exactly do our thoughts come from? This 'mind-stuff' which races through our heads every day and colours our actions and emotions. Think about it. Where did you pick them up?

A book? A documentary? Something you read or saw online? The newspaper or magazine? From someone else (and therefore, also from these same sources)?

In other words, you picked them up from objects. From things outside of yourself.

They are ideas which you then, wrongly, draw self-conclusions from. "I am a Liberal. I am a Christian. I am vegan."

Our true self (the "I") is the subject. These thoughts which we have picked up are intangible objects. Our thoughts prevent us from accessing our true selves.

Fundamentally, when we equate the subject ( the "I") with the object, we create unhappiness within ourselves. Equating our "I" with the thoughts inside our heads is effectively like identifying ourselves with a quote we've read online or a movie we've seen. There is no way that these thoughts can be an accurate portrayal of our true selves, because they are drawn from outside of the self. Fundamentally, they are not who we are.

Most of us, 24/7, are concealing our true selves from ourselves. We constantly have 'mind-stuff' flowing through our brains. We torture ourselves with our perceptions about life and the world around us.

We are literally addicted to over-thinking, and our stressful, manic lives have only exasperated this problem by making our minds hyperactive.

You have to realise that you are merely a witness to these thoughts; these objects. When we stop analysing, judging, and identifying with our thoughts, we start to witness glimpses of the pure consciousness we all have inside. We begin to experience true joy.

We just have to stop self-identifying with our minds. This is the first key step to falling in love with yourself.

Equally, we equate our subject (the "I") with an object through our self-identification with our own bodies. This has never been more pervasive than it is today, in a world where we are all taught to value ourselves, and to self-identify with, the body - what it can or can't do - how it looks or doesn't look.

Identifying yourself with your body is the quickest way to make yourself deeply unhappy.

Equating your body with your "I" is like equating your "I" with the house you live in. And yet we all do it.

When we self-identify with the body we are automatically limiting ourselves. This is because the body is limited by time and place. Our consciousness, however, is not.

The self-revealing consciousness, that we all have inside of us (in other words, our soul), is not limited by time and place. By limiting ourselves through identification with the body, we create unhappiness within ourselves as limitation is synonymous with unhappiness.

You have to look upon your mind and body as the objects that they are, and realise that you are not an object. When we do this, we can free ourselves from thought and the limitations of the body, and consequently reconnect with our true selves.

That self that you have had glimpses of in the moments when you “lose yourself.” When you laugh until your stomach aches; when the adrenaline hits you as you do something daring and dangerous, when you’re starving and you take the first bite of food.

We all experience moments of clarity and complete presence, when we forget we have a mind or body, until we are pulled back into the ‘mind-stuff’, and into equating who we are with our thought patterns or the body we live in.

We cannot self-identify with objects, with something intrinsically out of unison with our real, subjective selves, and expect to be happy.

The acceptance of this idea, shocking, liberating and beautiful, has been the most enlightening realization I've ever had, and for the first time in my life, I accept myself completely. I no longer equate my worth with how I look or what I'm thinking. I finally realize that "I am not my body. I am not my mind. I am not limited by time nor place."

Thank you for reading!

Namaste x